Animated fairy pictures
I thought I'd lost them
but there within the pages of my notebook
they are protected
still
by fantasy art warrior women.
I long to know their resilience.
Chinese floral prints
origami folding instructions
flower fairies garden ornaments
kept safely here inside my notebook.
Love poems written to the voice of creativity.
I seek a solace.
I seek a hidden world
once bequeathed inside sweet poems.
I am fairies in art
that got lost in obituary searches.
I somehow know I am not there
yet
so pack up your goddess post.
There will always be ways to end a relationship
this is not that story.
Plant anew
refresh my table
fresh flowers are all lined up
unaware they will soon be picked
Chinese floral prints
despite all those vacant stares.
Heartache bestowed
some self inflicted by way of postponing beauty
beautiful things
that have always been within reach
yet neglected like my baby roses.
These things
sad days
that become a way of life
objections to circumstances
screams that have gone out
denials
embraces eluding to hope
I am defined by what I now accept as normal.
Normal to me.
Still despite the unfolded sheets of paper
knowing I hold clear instructions.
My fantasy art warrior women declined to defend the fort
till now.
Days like this I look out on to the atrium
small pagoda standing in a pretend forest
Japanese intrigue.
I pause in circumstance
and then I live there
beneath the mounds of moss and ferns.
Bonsai tended with care
I am covered by their illusions of peace.
Obituary searches in the public square
sweet poems attached to someone's marker
animated faery pictures
still melted on my sidewalk.
I will walk there tomorrow
there to find art work in a butterfly garden.
There in a landscape I have known
is a tree
I did once discover a little painting
resting in its arms.
I left it there
with a tiny notebook and a pencil
inside a plastic bag
lest someone choose to lend comment
or perhaps a critique.
Yet I fretted about the critique
the painting's author unknown
it was more about the sentiment
just like the world inside my atrium.
Chinese floral prints
I wear them
I am a fantasy art woman
I fold up pieces of paper
origami folding instructions
I scribble messages
I keep my heart safe there.
I know a story well
fantasy art warrior women
placed a stone inside my pillow
lest I find my name is some obscure obituary search.
by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
copyright 2008
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